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2004-10-27 - 10:59 p.m.

listening to lamb's darkness after catching the lunar eclipse by accident. i keep thinking it is all just too much. i need thicker filters. i take in too many details at once.

finally AE and i made plans to meet. i found him on friendster a very long time ago. we have been emailing each other from different cities around the globe. he in brazil, me in SF. he in atlanta, me in beijing. he in hawaii, me in NY. he in NY, me in vegas. so tonight, where the moon met the sun, we met each other for caphirina and margarita. i was so nervous and not myself really. when i walked down to the door to meet him, he was everything and more. he talked SO MUCH. about everything. socially, politically, culturally, emotionally. as he spoke, i loosened up. i wondered what kissing him would be like. he was easily 6'2" so i felt even smaller with him. he was dark and smart and i tried not to swoon. he wasn't that funny. i mean, he might have been talking from nerves as well, but i think he has a girlfriend. i think he mentioned something like that. so he's not funny. that's ok. i could use a friend who teaches me about portugal and spain and brazil. i think we enjoyed each other. i was so nervous it was hard to tell if he could see through to the delicious me. but it's ok not to swoon. it's ok to get to know people slowly. especially when they might be around a long time.

but man, when we stopped on a corner to look up at the red moon, i wished it could move quicker.

< yeah >