i walk alone a lot. i am alone a lot. sometimes, it is the only way i could possibly imagine new york city. me strolling through movies and soundtracks of overlapping lives. parks and rhythms. dogs and rabbits on leashes. yes, new york, i love you for your walked rabbits. stealthily moving through your arteries. beautiful but often dripping with sigh. and mind chatter. and invisibility. the invisibility, a state i longed for in china, has now become severe and constant. within it, i am fluid and safe. but i am not silent. and within the silence of invisibility i am drowning in the noise my own heavy consciousness. i need to be lifted up like a tired child. not like. i need to be routed and discovered.

i need to be quiet.

.

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