|2002-11-08 - 1:45 a.m.
i have this weird thing for the WB. it is a fucked up guilty pleasure. it started out becuase i was too lazy to fix the antenna and channel 20 and 44 came in perfectly. but it evolved into a ritual. i would get ready for bed, make some tea, smoke a bowl, and settle in. i'm not kidding. this is a confessional. dawson's creek, gilmore girls, superman. anyone ever catch young american's? it was basically an abercrombie & fitch catalogue come to life but with fucked up story lines. there was a girl posing as a boy to get into the school. she started falling in love with her room mate, a male, who started falling in love with her. and instead of her telling him, the show let him come to terms with the fact that he was gay. he thought. and he was freaked out but ok with it. so when she finally did tell him, it was too weird but they were working it out. then this other boy and girl fall totally and completely in love. ok, when you are super stoned, it is so delightful to watch people in love. about three weeks into their bliss phase, the boy's father, not knowing the girl is more than a friend, informs his son that he had an affair with her mother and she is actually the boy's sister. whoa. but it's too late. obviously they split but what a strange and constant torment of not being allowed to love each other. when you do. and it's your sister. that's not a light teenage topic you see. i watch all of the shows to see if the respective characters end up kissing. i think the root of this can only be understood in reference to childhood pasttimes. it feels like parents aren't around and we get to make barbie and ken fuck in the motor home. it's so awful and so compelling. what does this say about me? i hate katie holmes and james van der beek. as actors. but i loved watching them make love. i believed them. i am a perverted romantic. i love watching that shit. i am a perverted voyeur, that's what it is. i am a pedaphiliac voyeuristic pervert. and you are too! hooray for us.