|2006-05-18 - 10:43 p.m.
my skies, a summer song.
this is a summer song. this is the way i move seasons and cast spells.
staying in the water forever as a child. placing my legs out over the edge. slowly lowering myself backwards until i was lying flat, inverted with my body parallel to the wall. i'd let the remaining air escape from my lungs. less air meant less effort. letting my heartbeat slow, calmly, i would approach my death. this was a ritual. each time, a litter deeper into the abyss (years later i discovered this was the slient aquarium called heroin).
this is a summer song. this is the way i shed my skin and make a deal. this is the compassion and the covenant. i don't want to need. i don't need to want. i'm in this for the medals. i'm in this for the glory. my x-ray vision god can see my moves. in outer spaces, i keep the good, the sound, the revolution. and inside where it's freeways and orbits, battles and rivers, i fight myself for my life.
wicked now to keep me so intact it's cruel the way it takes me smack dab in the middle of a state of mind where i should find elated rapture taking me away behind the words that lover's say. i'm just a girl a warm machine.