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2003-01-15 - 9:05 a.m.

it's early morning. no one is awake. i'm back at my cliff, still throwing things off.

someone inserted magnifying lenses with shears behind my lids. everything i seetouchtaste is exponential but i have no attatchment to it. i am floating through new memories of san francisco in no-man's land not awaiting my departure, not feeling loss or excitement. i am suspended animation but moving. i am oil spills in rivers. i am bliss and rapture and grounded to the sky. this was wisdom that could have saved my life 14 times over and yet i only decode it now. of course. oh goddess, you are an interesting cat. you don't know the delicious view of horizon as you maneuver me from above. this is renaissance. i will kiss and spread infectious light. i will adorn my body with radiance and hands. i will sing from my heels in awe of everything we wash over each other. i will implement radical honesty and celebration at all costs.

help me to maintain equilibrium. i catch glimpses of familiar terror in my heart. a guest which is no longer welcome at this party. i waver through hopetrustfaith episodes and i plan executions. please breathe deliverance and release.

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