.sponsor me.

2002-12-15 - 11:51 p.m.

i will tell you something about torus and you will understand something wonderful. for whatever reason, i was handed sucky parents. they loved me. they did their best. but they just never knew the right thing to do to raise a secure being. needless to say, i have trust issues. i am super scalpel analyst intellectualized sexual robomonkey. torus knew this. as much as we focused on the sexy monkeying part, i think he was in it for the package. he invented a game for me called deconstruction. this is where i would get home from work and he would pick me up and take me to do whatever it is he wanted. i don't mean tie me up in a hotel. i mean, he chose, i flowed. he would take me to chinatown to mom and pop secret restaurants where it just so happened a painting of his was hanging on the wall. or we'd sneak in to a movie preview because he always knew an usher. or a bouncer. or a cop. but this one night was the best. he took me to a bar and when we got there he just whispered "tonight begins before we met." so part of my challenge was to flow and let go. and i did. i walked in ahead of him and sat at the bar. i was alone. i scoped the joint for something interesting to look at. then he walked in. it really felt like it was the first time i was seeing him. he was beautiful and comfortable in his skin. he noticed me noticing him and walked toward where i was sitting. "is this seat taken?" "no, no," i answered shyly. and then, "of course not." i mona lisa smiled. "my name is torus." so confident. "i'm buying you a drink." and that began our night. we committed to the roles of never having met. we were so true to those roles that i actually learned new things about him. after only the second drink(there were more words and spaces than sips), he took me by the hand and lead me silently out to the street and to an alley on hudson. we lit a joint as we strolled toward a warehouse door. torus knocked and we entered just as i was aware of how high i had become. holy fucking shit. it was beautiful in here. it was dense and strategically lit in monochromatic color schemes. it was an art gallery like i had never seen. it seemed like a labrynth of hallways. each hallway had it's own color with art that corresponded to that color in someway. we would stand in front of every single work and dive into the world of it, tearing and deciphering, becoming the fusedartistaudience. we built theories upon castles upon embers. the color phenomenon was like an amplitude EG, ultimately having the final say. we stood at the end of the garnet hallway just out of the view of passers by and we devoured each others mouths, torus lifting me on to his lap for a garnet conclusion. we said nothing. still acting like strangers, even through fucking, even into the morning. and that next morning. it was as though he had not become that new person to me. i had. and somehow, it was exactly as he had planned.

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