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2003-03-02 - 2:33 p.m.

after practice, feeling sticky and sexy from a good ass-kicking, i took a cold shower and dan and i went out to meet my new friend michael for drinks. dan- having just returned from america that day, was beat. he split with his girl and left michael and i alone to drink watery beer and play the lying dice game, which i have finally come to really like. michael and i were the ones who made the date. and yes, it totally felt like a date. his other friend left right away and we decided to go to a nightclub. called, get this, rave party. i was noticing something subtle slowly building between us and i liked it. it felt familiar and provocative. what kept my lines clear was the fact that i was not physically attracted to him. his english was really good and it made it easy to be understated. it was a mixed game of feeling and filtering, breathing and listening. the whole thing applied the kind of self-control that creates the most optimal tension. note to self: even when you are attracted to the point of willing to give said subject head under the table in public, taking you time creates great reward. so we left the club. we could have taken a taxi home but the nights are so tropical and pollution-free, it seems a shame to waste them. so we walked through the city, discovering relevant information about each other. about othe women. we walked to his house and got his moped. my idea. i tried to ride it for a second but picturing my inner thighs wrapped around him as we flew through the finally silent night, seemed too arousing to pass up. then he delivered me safely home and like an unchanging variable in an ever so repeated equation, i floated high into my christmas lit apartment.

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