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2004-07-03 - 10:26 p.m.

three saturdays ago, i was backstage with kid rock in new jersey. two saturdays ago, i was surrounded by seven cop cars on the highway as 25 cops busted the car in front of me. we were the only two cars surrounded and i learned that weapons of choice in this circumstance are not black, but silver. we were closer than crossfire range so i pulled my sister down below glass level. just in case. as we finally pulled away from the scene, we oh-my-god-oh-my-god-ed and high-fived from adrenaline overdose.

as of june 1st, i began working for an ad agency who is impressed when i come up with 30-second radio car spots that will later be translated into spanish. i am paid to execute. i am paid to design. i am paid to write. i am paid to make things a little bit better. i think what is becoming valued as much as skill *might* be, is my total versatility. no more outsourcing. i can do whatever comes up. even mediate office relationships. account execs come by my desk and ask me to rewrite letters to clients. also not actually in my job descripion, but good for defining my worth in the long run. and soon i will be learning avid and protools for commercials.

my sister and i are in the deeply resentful stage of supporting my father. as in, sure cancer is a big deal, but where the fuck have you been for 30 years and how is cancer more significant than instilling security into a child. [rhetorical]

what matters most to me right now, though, is my raging love affair with new york. i am floating through a honeymoon phase and i'm not coming down any time soon. i eat vegan food and drink sangria on sidewalks. i watch skaters protest bush in motion around union square. i run laps around the reservoir in central park across from guggenheim museum. i stand in the front train car and pretend i am flying. i walk EVERYWHERE. i listen to free jazz and reunite with high school friends i haven't seen in 12 years. i wake up at 3am on the 15th floor of an upper east side apartment because the wind is blowing a downpour horizontally over my bed through the human-sized opening in the window. and i stand semi naked feelilng the cold drops thru hot summer air as i gaze over rooftops with water towers, penthouses and dreams of higher standards. and when i walk past 34th street and see schtick shops i read the t-shirt in the window of the old classic i heart NY but now it says i heart NY more than ever.

and i really do.

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