|2003-01-16 - 12:54 p.m.
i am having a dilemma about what i am going to write. until this point i have not censored my self AT ALL. and now, i just want to unload but i am too conscious of your eyes. i feel like i would be exploiting myself. fuck it. i started this for me and i intend to keep it that way.
the night started at sublounge. again. ok san franciscans, this is my favorite place in the city. i am nuts about our friends there and every time kj chel and i are there, they radiate. so the plan was for j to call me and meet me somewhere. he came late and knew all the people there. fucking dj's know everyone. and we went straight back to his place touching hands the whole ride. feeling ultra realxed and increasingly sexy. when we got to his house, we shut the door behind us and devoured each other for a minute. then we sat on the couch, talking and laughing about shit the whole time. his house is amazing. records lining the walls. cd's everywhere. 70's album art and paraphenalia scattered about the walls and windows. it was groove heaven. so we jumped on the oh-so-plush brown couch and took a bunch of bong hits. forget it. the minute he put down the bong, he turned around and it was all over. squealing and breathing. raising my denim covered hips to meet his navel. wrestling like teenagers, touching like porn stars. SO MUCH FUN. we were slippery in minutes. of course he put on amazing jazz. of course he thought my curves were venusian. of course he navigated them with his tongue. we kept taking breaks to catch up with ourselves, saying we knew all along it would be this good. sometimes you just do. it was so fucking hot. and i hate sex where you lose your personalities into the act and just fuck. i love when you can open your eyes and re-ignite because of who you see above you, beneath you, not because of the act you are performing. and i ate him. and he drank me. and when it was over, he wrapped himself around me with his flesh and small sighs. and it was tender. so we fell asleep entwined and loving. and we woke up to martin luther king jr's i have a dream speech. and we massaged and rolled and embraced and listened. and we stayed like that for a few hours, living on what felt like borrowed time. like i had already left SF for good. and it is so charged between us, we had to do it all over again. we talked about everything. we shared a bowl of cereal and drank tea. we parted like very cool friends and i strolled out under a perfect blue summer sky.