|2002-12-03 - 12:29 p.m.
sometimes there is so much pain in my heart, i actually find it beautiful. i think if i were to ever find peace, i would have to become a healer, for surely light would shoot out my fingertips. i hold all of my excrutiating chakras as prisoners. they are not allowed to ripple color. they are not allowed to communicate with any other flowing systems within me. they are not allowed vision. i am my very own fascist. i have dreams of severing my own limbs and they do not bleed. i have dreams of a massive hook securing itself under my ribcage and hoisting me up to...heaven, i guess. maybe today would be the day i would come home and tie the bungee cord several times around my neck and attatch each end to the pull-up bar in my hallway. what would the note say. i'm sorry k-fly, you knew i was running out of time. i'll watch over you. would i demand that my funeral be a party. here is your set list. this music is who i was at my end. play it on repeat all night until sunrise. know that i will watch over and protect all of you even when i am fused with the universe.
but, fuck. i need to go to china first. i need to release my cd. i need to kiss your lips a thousand minutes. i need to see my godson grow up. i need to learn to fly.