this is not what i had imagined
whereismyorbitermyjetpackmysaturnholiday
mytrueloveascensionmytransfertolight.
i run out to the edge of the earth make myself smaller than matter but gravity and motion remind me of vessels. i dream awake and rest in black and all i wanted was an everlasting. celebrating ourselves in silly and neon shoot arrows at damage and refuse to consume. idontwantanyofthis. carrying my lead chest on sun rays that shred through november. how can i be heavylighthappysadwakingdreaming and still brake at stop signs break at sunrise. iseealmosteverything. i love you as much as the sky loves the earth loves the new england rain. if you don't cut me open soon i will seep and rupture. youweresupposedtohelpmeletgo. flying on false flash beliefs that somehow i am an unborn geniusprophethealernarcissist. i must strip meticulous constructs of beautyidentityworth. i will always understand everythingnothing.

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