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2004-07-27 - 8:10 a.m.

watching dad on drugs. a lot of them. it's phenominal. he has green oxygen tanks at the foot of his bed. he informs me that he must get a pen and paper soon. why, i ask him. so i can write a dialogue for the little green men, he tells me with no tone of sarcasm. so his bithday is thursday and i'm getting him a voice recorder. (woohoo, birthdays in critical care!) he's also begun deep visual and aural hallucinations. he thinks the aural hallucinations are actually special frequencies only he can pick up (havn't we all). so every now and then, he shouts out a random word. and when i say random, i mean..."thimble!" i explained how the sound becomes distorted in the same way the visuals do. that he is extracting patterns. it is the first time ever that he has just responded with "that makes sense." he is incredibly oppositional.
that's why i like him so doped up.

four things i look forward to as i enter the best hospital i've ever been in...
1. my father's progress
2. my father's tangled albeit brilliant web of reality.
3. phil. his nurse.
the kindest and most responsive person i've EVER met in a heath care facility.
4. dr. patrick wagner. resident extraordinaire. it's not that he's cute, which he is. and it's not that he rolls perfectly with the comic punches we wallop in his direction. and it's not that i even care if he is actually extraordinary. it is more that i've chosen him to be the crush so i can look forward to going.

there's always a phat silver lining on this girl's duster.

< yeah >