lucid dreaming. someone asked me last night to remember my dreams. he is a close friend i have never seen before. but i have known him almost 2 years. i find it interesting that i don't think i've ever dreamt of him. believe me, he has invaded my subconscious. i just think that your dreams are visual maps and collages of your phyche. no visual, no subject. i didn't know if this was true. i still don't. i'm just saying, i don't think i've ever dreamt of this intense personality.

so no dreams in my first round of REM sleep. none that i could recall. but i woke up at 3, ate some cherries and went back to bed. then it began. like nap sleep. strange dreams of my sister, her husband and i getting attacked in our minivan. our minivan. so it was not lucid yet. i told her to drive far away and hide the car. and meet me at the nursing home. i'll be hiding there with nanny (our dead grandmother). so here is where i wake up in the dream. kind of. and i know i am creating the nursing home, but i still fear my sister is in danger. i'm explaining this all to the nurse. i like her. she's totally into the fact that i made her up. "but how do you know," she asks. and for a minute, i don't know. so i look down at the floor. "because i'm only wearing one shoe," i tell her.

the rest of the dream seemed way more eventful as it was happening. but it was great to make it all happen. and it was more than great to see my dead nanny.

i blame the cherries.

< yeah >