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2003-06-05 - 9:45 a.m.

i rejected the term brave when used to describe me. until the one day when i understood. bravery is not acting without fear. bravery is choosing to prioritize moving forth and being alive in spite of fear. so yes, i am heroic.

i left new york in the rain, heading south to my wife and child. almost 2 years ago, we lived together in the infamous villa elaine. we fell asleep curved around august as his (parent-thesis) keeping him safe and sound. we pretended the green carpet in the hollywood apartment was the grassy lawn of our rain forest while our view was an office depot we affectionately called the "office of pot." i made her coffee and sent her to take naps while the world of drama and nothingness crashed around us. and all the while a beacon of light in barely infant form, shot through our lives like a benediction. august zero, you are my buddha.

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