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2005-01-11 - 9:17 a.m.

san francisco was heavy and fast. even though i was there to get any of my remaining things out of michael's warehouse, i was really there to place the next cobblestone along the beautiful and jagged road that is tron and solar.

the first time i saw him was at the odeon. it was packed for a borg2 meeting and we stood at the back arm-in-arm, spontaniously hugging every few minutes, waiting to leave. we were planning on toying with music collaboration but we were too tired. so we climbed into bed and watched third season alias episodes. him initiating contact the whole time. and we fell asleep hands held and foreheads touching. and from a god's-eye view, i think our bodies formed a heart.

since we hadn't gotten to the music, i left the last night open for him. i came over early and we got stoned- which we are so good at together. we swapped music and he completely blew me away with the music he was making. and he asked me to describe in words the kind of music i was listening to lately. only words, i was not alowed to play him anything. and i watched him remix a cheesy song from the 80's into something brilliant. i fucking swooned. not in an i-wanna-fuck-you way. more like an i-wanna-be-you. and we fell asleep content. and the next thing i knew, i was on a plane to new york.

last night i broke up with ben.

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