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2005-07-14 - 5:43 p.m.

back of my body still on fire. it was a rough night of chills and discomfort. red-flag boy arrived in the late morning. as i'd suspected, the momentum brought us swiftly together. naked. and i tried to be fully present. but i left my body and watched the movie that we had been writing in text messages. i climbed on top of his head with my hands against the cool wall, all the while thinking how cool it would feel against my crispy skin. and i slipped back on to him and tried, again, to really be there. and i was there- starring in the movie where i was unsatisfied and yearning, skin still on fire now magnified with friction. but strangely, we lay post coital kissing. a lot. affectionately. tenderly. like we were old lovers. but for me it was the motion of old lovers. his stories overwhelmed me and i told him we would alwyas be fundamentally different people. i said this while kissing his "fuck you" tattoo.

so he hung around a few hours when i get a call from my mother that my sister's water broke. i freaked out. i rescheduled my flight for the crack of dawn, cancelled my beck tickets and gave notice to my marathon group.

starting tomorrow, i'll be in vermont if you need me.

can't a day just be a day?

< yeah >