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2003-06-22 - 9:07 p.m.

i have too much to say about the month i spent in new york. so many ghosts come to life. so much sensuality. so much healing. i need to digest it first and it may take me a day or to to spit out fancy bricks.

but oh california. how you welcomed me home with warm and loving arms. and it is all home really. i returned thursday night so that bunny, deus and i could hit the road for the mountain of attention. bunny's birthday/summer solstice was to be spent in the holy space of my almost-teacher and their guru, avitar adi da samraj. i have mentioned him before and be assured, i will again. if you have never been to a truly holy place, i highly recommend you start connecting with things that matter. i think black rock city is a different kind of holy. so we awoke to skinny dip in a mountainside lake called "mother's den" and soon after, we joined the first part of the seminar. as a contact, or new person, i was paired up with a devotee, a formal student of adi da, tenderly known as, beloved. this was when i met andrea. bunny and andrea guided me through the weekend and experienced the grounds again through my eyes. adi da is an amazing infinitely-multi-media artist. if you can believe it, a guru who creates experience that transcends art. how easily i can accept a genius as a teacher. so the weekend was this. art, holy grounds, wise and ridiculous community, a "fear not" zoo where a llama was dying of old age. as i approached the llama, i heard chanting on a loop and realized one of the zoo workers was sitting on the floor stroking her head. how unbelievably beautiful. i sobbed at the grace. i honored how gently the cycles were turned. i was moved by so many things i can not even begin to describe. but i'll try one day soon.

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